Loving Oneness Now

WHAT IS REAL LOVE?

[Page C09]

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INTRODUCTION

I find there is a great deal of confusion over the nature of Real Love, and therefore, before defining and describing Real Love, it seems a good idea to first clear out these confused misperceptions and erroneous definitions. However, I must also state that much of the confusion stems from mixing together the ego's varieties of pseudo-love with Real Love. This is a mixture of two disparate emotions as when (by analogy) we mix sand and sugar; it is not a blending in which the two emotions fuse together in an inseparable combination. To recover the sand (Love) all we have to do is dissolve away the sugar (pseudo-love) with ego-dismantling running water.

As you read this whole Section keep in mind that Real Love is universal, eternal, maximal and that it is unadulterated with any ego whatsoever. As it is God-given, it is within every being on Earth, just waiting to be rediscovered. "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you, right here, right now."

WHAT REAL LOVE IS NOT

Bonding with someone:  We humans frequently bond with one another for a variety of reasons almost all of which are to do with security in one form or another. We see security as the major antidote to fear, anxiety and stress. All too often ego-bonding love wanes or disappears once the security underlying it has turned into insecurity. But when external threats occur we tend to bond together in groups for protection. Another reason for egoic bonding with others is as an antidote to loneliness. Humans cling to one another in groups, such as families, communities, organizations, races, and nations, in order to counteract all forms of fear and loneliness, almost all of which is, paradoxically, imposed on these groups by other groups of humans called enemies. Other individuals, families, communities, organizations, races, and countries may be perceived as our enemies. Security, our egos falsely believe, comes only from weapons, armaments, fences, locks, bodyguards, police and the military, and not from Compassion, communication, helping and caring. Note that our bonds with others deteriorate rapidly once our Shadow Archetypes (E2) assail our relationships.

Although babies bond with their mothers, and mothers bond with their babies to facilitate the rearing of those children, once the kids reach adulthood the bonds usually begin to decrease in strength over time. Mother-love usually fades a lot less slowly than that of the grown-up children who tend to bond with their new families. Much of the personal bonding in families and in other friendly relationships, is to do with egoic love-bucket fill-ups and exchanges, a topic that will be dealt with in another Section (G03) on this site. 

Falling in love: Humans can fall in love at any age or stage of their lives. Even small children can fall in love with another boy or girl, though these childhood relationships rarely last. Many decades ago I fell madly in love with Maisie at six years of age. We would sit on the beach and innocently kiss, being entirely ignorant about sex. Then her mother saw us and that was the end of my first love. If you read the Archetypes Section (E2) you will come to understand that falling in love is almost always a falling in love with one's own projected opposite-sex Animus or Anima Archetype. (To learn about projection see Page R12.) In other words, it is often just a mirror-image of something in our own unconscious mind that we have fallen in love with. With luck, the image you project roughly fits the appearance and character of the person you think you have fallen in love with. All falling-in-love experiences fade fairly rapidly and are then replaced with a more down-to-earth relationship, which, if there is a lot of compatibility in all the key areas (intelligence, appearance, interests, spirituality, health, money, child-rearing, sexual needs, chemistry, and, not least, tolerance), may happily last a lifetime. Falling in love is often associated with romance and romantic relationships, and some people so enjoy the "high" they get from these temporary "heart-throb affairs" that they move from one to another frequently or infrequently. Which brings us to sexuality.

Sexuality: We may use the words "making love" when we enjoy sexual intercourse, but sex itself, while it can obviously be mixed in with affection, bonding and falling in love, is none of these activities. We can certainly use sexual union as a symbolic way of expressing our loving affection for one another, and while that may be highly desirable, humans can also enjoy pleasurable sex without genuine affection; furthermore, we can express our love for one another in many non-sexual ways, such as for example, by giving gifts, by sharing non-sexual hugs, or even by simply holding hands when out for a walk. And this brings us to a discussion of affection. Most sexual activities that exclude assault are as harmless as eating food, but sex is not to be confused with God-level Love--even though sexuality is natural for most species.

Affection: We usually keep this term for the feelings we have for another person when we like them and feel warmly toward them. We can feel affectionate towards good friends, other people's children, and our pets. Of course this does not mean we cannot love them as well, but love is a much stronger emotion than affection. Also, affection is usually displayed behaviorally when it is felt, as when we rumple a child's hair, stroke our cat, or kiss someone on the cheek. Affection tends to be playful, non-sexual (no arousal) and accompanied by friendly comfortable attraction. Yet, as we all know and experience, our affections and affectionate relationships wax and wane, and therefore cannot be classified as Real Love, even though they may sometimes be a precursor of Real Love. Note that our affection for others deteriorates rapidly once our Shadow Archetypes (E2) muscle in on our personal relationships.

Adulation, Infatuation and Crushes: These forms of ego-infatuation are rather strange because very often the "loved" party is unaware of the intense feelings the infatuated one has for them. Teenagers and young adults may express "undying love" for a film star, or popular singer, whom they have never seen in person. On the other hand, even children, too, may get a crush on a teacher they "adore," which seems to stem from an inner need for a loving parent surrogate who will fill an empty void (a need for love) within them. Obviously these adulations and crushes have everything to do with our projections, and have nothing to do with Real Love.

WHAT, THEN, IS REAL LOVE?

Real Love is the only kind of Love there is. There are no varieties, or levels, or gradations of Love. God's Love, which is the only kind of Love there is, exists in all of us underneath the ego's intense fears of dissolving--which cause the ego to cling onto control, at any cost.

Here are some transcripts of excerpts spoken by Raj/Jesus on the topic of Real Love.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2002-09-04 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

But I [Jesus] promise you one thing. We [the Awakened ones] can't override your will [in this context, as ego]. We can encourage you to lessen the intensity with which you exercise it. You will never be overwhelmed with your Divinity. But, it's absolutely essential that someone encourage you firmly and consistently and repetitively to dare to entrust yourself to the Love that's behind the membrane [of egoic fear]. Else you would go on indefinitely keeping yourself protected against it [Love], and therefore against your Conscious Experience of your Wholeness and the Harmony and the Beauty and the Bliss of the Totality of Being, of All of Creation.

When that uncontrollable, humungous Presence of Love it may come out in a gush, but the stream will slow down once it's not having to move against the pressure of your resistance, and there will be such Order and such Harmony that it will be awesome. Or let's put it this way. It would be awesome if it weren't for the fact that in the experience of it, you'll say, "Ah. Yeah. This is me. This is who I've always been. [Now] I'm at Home. I'm not at odds with myself anymore. I'm not at odds with my world anymore. Everywhere I look I see me. Everywhere I look I see my Wholeness. My Brothers and my Sisters and all of God's Creation really is some part of me. It's the Infinitude of the Totality of What I Am because I am the Totality of What God Is, because in God expressing Himself He held nothing back. And so All Of What God Is is What I Am."

Well, it really isn't chaos that you're afraid of. It is really the fear of the loss of control. Because control is what the ego sense of self has used to ensure that its insane frame of mind cannot be violated.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2002-12-05 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

You've got to stop keeping your back to the Altar [of Love]. You've got to abandon looking at [the ego's] effects, and turn within to the place where your Peace is available to you. And you must choose for your Peace first, before you look out there, so that when you access your Peace, you may feel the Presence of God's Love that is there [within you] growing brighter and illuminating you with the Gift of Love, so that all you are impelled to do, or be, is the uncomplicated Presence of Love that sees What God Would Have You See where you [as ego] had seen an enemy that you needed to defend yourself against. And that [Presence of Love] is the only thing that is going to transform whatever situation you're confronted by that seems to be a justifiable call for fear.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2003-08-10 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

What a powerful, pivotal point you sit in. You can either block God or let God through. Hmmm. Well, or so it seems. Because you can't block God, but you can block from your awareness the Movement of God through you that continues no matter what. You can block it from your own awareness. And in effect, you're the only one suffering the loss.

The unfortunate thing is that your loss of feeling the Light of Love flowing through you causes you to be unable to see the Love in everyone and everything around you. And so you feel unloved and you behave accordingly. That's a very dark mirror. It's a very un-illumined experience.

But I want you to see that when you begin to devalue the independence [of your egoic separation from God], it's not just you, your mind, your being, that will be filled with the experience of God's Love; it will [also] illuminate your Brothers and Sisters and the Universe, [and] all of Creation to you again, as the Substance of Love that God Is Being in every Aspect of Creation. And so, your whole Being filling with illumination will constitute an experience of all Existence, infinitely speaking, being illumined to you as well, where's there's no way for you to feel alone or small. And it's your Birthright to be experiencing this.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2005-02-13 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

So, Creation is you letting God's Love through you in the way that God knows fulfills Purpose. And that Movement constitutes the Movement of Creation. And because you are not [Really] autonomous and separate and different from your Brothers, your gift becomes the gift that they give. And when you get to keep it, and you recognize it as your own, they [also] get to keep it and recognize it as their own. And everything that they allow of the Movement of Love through them that constitutes the Movement of Creation is likewise yours to keep.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2005-04-24 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

But God's Laws are that Love prevails. Love is the Law. The Being of Love is your Function. The capacity to be What You Are is inherent in you and can never be taken away. And What You Are--as What I [Jesus] Am Being right there where you are--is All There Is of you and it's everything. And it's all-inclusive. And not a single Brother or Sister, or leaf, or ant, or planet, or solar system, is left out of it. Nor is your Brother's Mind left out of it. You are all joined totally and completely.

Now these are God's Laws, because these are What The Truth Is. The Truth, let's say, the unchangeableness of Truth is God's Law. You see?

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2005-07-17 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

The Love you love with is God's.

There is no little radical general store sitting just outside of Infinity where you can go and get a radical black-market packet of Love with which to Love. There's no place to go to, to find the ability to Love outside of the Presence of God, or outside of the Presence of What You Are as God Presence-ing Himself right there where you are.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2005-09-18 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

But remember, if you lose your cool, it's because you abandoned your Peace before you looked at the thing that you say causes you, caused you to lose your cool. And therefore, you don't have to wait for the person, circumstance or situation to change. You can immediately make a different choice and shut up and sit down and become quiet, and find your Peace before you look once again at the situation, and before you act. And the result will not be chaos if your intent is true. What you will open yourself up for is the Love of God that will demonstrate to you there is nothing to be afraid of because Love is the absence of fear. God's Love is the absence of fear. And in the absence of fear, and the clarity that there's nothing to be afraid of, you will move in your world in a way that brings forth benign-ness, not only for you, but for everyone.

Raj Excerpt -- Course Study with Raj/Jesus -- 2005-10-02 [Emphasis and bracketed insertions added.]

But the Holy Spirit [which is your Right Mind] would say, "Aside from what you were thinking, aside from what events happened, are you not the Son of God? Are you not God's Daughter? Aside from what you think has happened and what seems to justify your condition, are you not the manifestation, the visibility and tangibility of Love--God's Love in His Self-Expressing right there where you are? Do you realize how Loved you are? Will you open up to the experience of Love that not only surrounds you, but constitutes the essence of every little aspect of you. Every molecule, every atom, every movement of energy in what you would call your body, is the Presence and Movement of Love illuminating everything. You are the Energy of Love. The Energy of Love is all there is of you. Will you take some time right now to let that experience in?" You see? "You don't need to defend yourself against anything. You don't need to defend yourself against your thoughts. You don't need to defend yourself at all, because you are safely held in the arms of God because you are the embodiment of God Himself, and nothing else." You see, the Holy Spirit [your Right Mind] accepts what's True of you, and reflects what's True of you back to you so that you might consider what's True of you without analysis, so that you might be able to quiet your fear enough to let in the experience of Love that is you and is around you. It invites you into a Wholeness, not into bits and pieces and parts. It moves your mind into a Singularity which is perfectly in harmony with God. It invites you to accept, rather than analyze your best beliefs about yourself.

 

Loving Oneness Now -- Copyright 2007 Alexander Bannatyne, PhD

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