Loving Oneness Now

EGO-DISMANTLING METHOD

[Page G04]

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 EGO-DISMANTLING METHOD

 TEN STEPS TO EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY

 

INTRODUCTION:  What follows below is a practical method for helping your spiritual growth and development. The process which I have outlined enables you to handle an emotional crisis of any kind whether it involves fear, anger, guilt, hate, panic, frustration, anxiety, denial or any other negative feeling. It also helps you dissolve your ego if used regularly with all your ego's emotions, including the so-called "positive ones."

The process given here has been drawn from my own personal experiences, from "A Course In Miracles," and from numerous other sources. Most people erroneously try to push away or deny emotions and feelings they feel frightened of, or do not want, including specific fears and loneliness. In some ways this denial or suppression is almost the exact opposite of what should be done with them!  Note too, that judgment of ourselves or others is a major method of trying to rid ourselves of unwanted emotions, but it does not work. Also note that projecting blame or dumping unmanageable emotions on others are not successful ways to go. Even unloading onto sympathetic friends never cures the problem. Judgment, projecting, dumping and unloading your emotions can never cure or heal emotional problems, issues and conflicts. (To learn about projection see Page R12.)

To read about the complex nature of emotions and feelings please go to the previous Section.

The method outlined here is set out in numbered steps. To be successful with deep emotional conflicts you may have to repeat the process many times, over a period of time (weeks, months and even years) but it will lessen each time you go through it. Anyway, remember there is no other way to go or to do it alone. I call this the EGO-DISMANTLING METHOD because it is a relatively rapid way to rid oneself of ego-conflicts and persistent emotional problems.

IMPORTANT NOTE:  No one who has been diagnosed as schizophrenic, as borderline, as given to violence, as bipolar, as having a dissociative disorder, or who is suicidal, should use this ego-dismantling method without first consulting with a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. Anyone already in therapy or counseling must always first consult with their therapist/counselor before using this particular method of catharsis.

THE TEN STEP EGO-DISMANTLING METHOD.

Note that these ten steps may take any time from a few minutes to hours to work through once, and repeated "applications" are usually necessary.  What has taken decades to build is not unraveled in a "quick fix."  For any one session of 10 steps try to be well isolated from other people.  If you are in a crisis, night-time is a good time to go through this process. If you are afraid have an empathetic trusted friend (who has studied this page) silently with you in the room but not close by you.

1.  Do not judge others or blame them, because judgment and blame are projections of one's own denials, fears, angers, hates, resentments, worries, loneliness, etc.  So.....

2.  Do your best to take back inside yourself all projected feelings, judgments, blames, denials, fears, angers, hates, and other feelings.  Take them back into your own mind.  You cannot do anything about them if they are projected outside yourself, onto others.  If you are denying certain emotions (and their situations) uncover the underlying emotions, for example hate.  (Denial is a "solidified or gelled" fear of even deeper feelings.) As you take the feelings and emotions back into your own mind, forgive yourself and everyone else associated with the feelings as best you can at this point. Forgiveness is healing.  (Complete this forgiving step as best you can before you move on to Step 3.)

3.   OWN your negative or "positive" feelings honestly. Feel your emotions intensely. Open up to your deepest feelings. They are yours, so own them. Say, "This emotion is mine," then feel it.    

4.   But do not judge yourself or your emotions as "bad, evil, nasty," etc.  If you feel GUILTY about one of them, and the guilt is a major feeling, put it through these steps as a twin emotion at the same time.  For example, alternate between guilt and anger (or fear, etc.) as you move through each step.

5.   Release, the feelings privately, out loud if possible, in waves of deep-felt emotion, and "sit" right in the middle of this emotional flow. OWN it as yours. Let your emotion flood right through you and wash over you.  (Note that, even though you may think of another person as you do these steps, it is not projection when you are dealing with the emotions internally, and your motive is to heal yourself directly, and others indirectly.)

6.   Allow yourself to be very physical as well. Without damaging anything, express these deepest feelings OPENLY. So (appropriately to the particular feeling) cry copiously, clench your teeth, hit your palm with your fist, stamp your feet on a pillow, shake with fear, pale with panic, shrink into a ball of guilt, scream into the pillow, feel abandoned, swear richly with no censorship -- let go of control.

7.   Welcome the emotions and feelings. Welcome the pain. Welcome the anger. Welcome the fears. Tell them to do their very worst to you! Keep inviting them to come in and give you their worst! Face them internally. Yield to them; do not struggle against them. (Remember that what gives anything its power over us is our fear of it. So feel the fear, too.)

8.   After the emotions have peaked and have begun to wane, closely examine your ego-needs and seek out what it is the ego wants from the other person or group; what ego-need that person or group is blocking. Search for this ego-need deep down inside your ego-mind (while still letting your feelings flood through you) and realize that these ego-needs, ego-wants and frustration-blockages are coming from extensive PAST programming--especially from the first 20 years of your life.  Note too, that you may be afraid for deep reasons of insecurity or whatever, to step through and past the other person (or group, such as a family.)  If this is the case put that feeling through the steps as well.  An example would be a fear of losing the ego-security of an established relationship.

9.   When the impact of the emotions you are experiencing in the "Now" begins to peter out and collapse (even though you are still welcoming them and trying to feel them) stuff them all, including the early ego-programming, into a spiritual bubble* then seal it, and give it to a Higher Power, the Holy Spirit, your Higher Self, or to God, to incinerate in the Sun. Watch the bubble disappear in a burst of light as it hits the sun at high speed where it is transformed into new light and energy for you.

10.   Now relax, and allow yourself to become calm.  Then go into your deepest sacred place, or the Land of Light, and be still, because you are an Eternal Child of God. Realize your only need is the Love of God, and know that you have His Love in unlimited Abundance. The Source of that Love is always deep within you, ready to flow out through you to others--everywhere!  

 

NOTE:  By putting our unwanted emotions (and perhaps some of those we desire to keep) through the above Ego-Dismantling Method (G04) and offering them to a Higher Power (such as God), we allow them to mature and differentiate in higher more refined forms of feelings as described on Page E3 (Aggression, Anger, Dominance).  All these refined forms of emotional feelings are listed at the ends of each of the Ego-children lines on Page E5.

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* A spiritual bubble can be visualized as a smoky-blue translucent bubble (like a huge semi-transparent balloon) about four feet in diameter. You can push your hand through its skin easily, deposit your emotional "stuff" inside, and it will automatically reseal as you withdraw your hand.  Even when full, it is very light and will zoom away with a gentle push.                     

 

Loving Oneness Now -- Copyright 2007 Alexander Bannatyne, PhD

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