Loving Oneness Now
This Page is an expansion and further clarification of Pages G02, G03 and G04. Whenever an emotion is mentioned below, it can also be regarded as one of the "ego-children" listed in E5. (Ego-children comprise our personal pattern of conditioned emotions, drives and feelings, and we may well be unaware of many of them.) To see a Graphics Diagram of the Table presented below, see Pages R03 and R04.
For most of us humans there are three usual ways we humans try to rid ourselves of our unwanted emotions, such as fear, anger, guilt, panic, embarrassment, worry, etc. [See: List of emotions and feelings in central box in diagram below,]
Projection: The most common way is to project the blame for those unwanted emotions out onto others simply because we think other people are the cause of them. However, other people are only the trigger of the unwanted emotions already in us. The trigger (e.g., a "put-down" or abuse) causes our unwanted emotion (anger, anxiety, guilt. etc.,) to erupt in us and we react with judgments, hate, condemnation, blame, or rejection. [See; Right-hand arrow in diagram below.] (To learn about projection see Page R12.)
Retrogression: A second common way is to retrogress (retreat) backwards into the ego-self and see ourselves as a victim, at which point we become defensive, obstinate, resentful, unforgiving, etc. We may also resort to frequently blaming our parents, or other childhood authorities by mulling (and/or musing) over and over the bad time they once gave us, and which we perceive as the cause of our unhappiness now. [See: Left-hand arrow in diagram below.]
Dissociation: A third common way is to send our unwanted emotions (such as fears and angers) downwards into our unconsciousness and even our bodies. We do this through dissociating them and repressing them because, in childhood (or during a trauma), they have become too difficult for us to handle in consciousness. Not infrequently this dissociation of our unwanted emotions downwards may be further displaced (dropped) into our bodies thus causing illnesses and other physical disorders. [See: Downward arrow in diagram below.]
Note that these three devices or mechanisms are not mutually exclusive. In fact, we use them appropriately in different kinds of situations with various kinds of people. A domineering boss may cause us to retreat into victimhood, while a "difficult" spouse or teenager will cause us to project blame outward. Or we may not be able to handle our violent anger, and by dissociating it we may cause a physical illness.
Offering our emotions up to a Higher Power: The desirable healthy way to dismantle our unwanted emotions and feeling is to offer them upwards to a "Higher Power." This must be done in a spirit of true forgiveness out of a genuine desire to heal ourselves and others. Our desire to judge, blame, reject and punish others must be unreservedly acknowledged and embraced as our own unhealthy crap because then, and only then, can it be given to Spirit. [See: Upward arrow in diagram below. For more on the Ego-Dismantling Method see the Previous Page G04. Note that a Graphics version of the Diagram Below can be seen on Page R03]
By putting our unwanted emotions (and perhaps some of those we desire to keep) through the the Ego-Dismantling Method (G04) and offering them to a Higher Power (such as God), we allow them to mature and differentiate in higher more refined forms of feelings as described on, for example, Page (E3) on Aggression, Anger, Dominance. All these refined forms of emotional feelings are listed at the ends of each of the Ego-children lines on Page E5. [See also HEALING IV - Page J09]
PLEASE LOOK BELOW THE DIAGRAM TO SEE THE DEFINITIONS OF SOME OF THE TERMS USED.
LIGHT-FILLED SANITY AND BEING LOVING. HEALING AND BEING NOW. GIVING EMOTIONS TO SPIRIT. TRUE FORGIVENESS. EGO-DISMANTLING. RIGHT-MINDEDNESS AND SEEKING ONENESS.
UPWARDS TO HEALING AND GOD-SELF
VICTIM DEFENSIVE OBSTINACY SELF-BLAME RESENTMENT ENTRENCHMENT UNFORGIVING REPETITIVE-CHILDHOOD MUSING
RETROGRESS BACKWARDS TO EGO-SELF
ANGRY FEELINGS ANXIETY / WORRY STRESS / PAIN FEARS / PHOBIAS GUILT / SHAME EMBARRASSMENT PANIC ATTACKS DEPRESSION etc.
PROJECTION OUTWARDS ONTO OTHERS
HATING FEARING REJECTING JUDGMENTS SEEING "SINNERS" BLAMING OTHERS PUNISHMENT GETTING EVEN
DOWNWARDS TO UNCONSCIOUSNESS AND DARKNESS
DISSOCIATIONS SOMATIZATIONS REPRESSIONS ADDICTIONS ILLNESSES DESPAIR DENIALS
GLOSSARY OF SOME OF THE WORDS USED IN THE ABOVE DIAGRAM
FEELINGS: These are the internal
psychological feelings we have when we react emotionally to a perceived
annoyance or threat coming from another person or our own egos. The usual
trigger for angry feelings is frustration/obstruction, which we are taught in
early childhood we can only be resolve or rid ourselves of by verbal or physical
attacks which can range from very mild to very violent. The better way to
resolve conflicts is communication, and to develop one's inner tolerance,
forgiveness and peacefulness.
This is mostly a nebulous kind of free-floating mild-to-medium fear about
a generalized area of our lives such as ill-health, family safety,
possible failure, of being unworthy, not liked, thought stupid, thought
neurotic, thought weak, etc. Worry is a more intense form of anxiety
which is more fixated on a specific happening such as an illness, a wayward
child, an insecure job, etc.
CHILDHOOD MUSINGS (REPETITIVE): This is my own term for what some people do when repetitively blaming their childhood parents, family situation or childhood abusers for all their current problems in life without making any real effort to release themselves from those current problems NOW by means of seeking psycho-spiritual therapy, reading appropriate books, and joining a self-help group.
This occurs when we split off (detach) from mainstream consciousness a set
of incompatible mental activities and "drop" it (as a group) into the
unconscious mind where it is more or less inaccessible, and where it may operate
seemingly independently. The extreme case of psychological dissociation is seen
in Dissociative Identity Disorders (DID), also known as Multiple Personality
Disorder (MPD) where a person has multiple separate personalities who do not
know about each other and which may pop out in consciousness in "compatible"
situations. The most frequent cause of DID/MPD is a severe childhood abuse
trauma, especially of a sexual kind. Note that we all have a wide
variety of differing ego-personalities (aka ego-children), each of which operates in specific
situations (school, beach, church, bed, car, cop, sport, babies, etc.,) which
may somewhat overlap and which are always accessible to consciousness,
and therefore they are not dissociated.
This is my term for "digging in" in a stubborn, unyielding way
in any relationship situation when someone annoys us and we do not wish to
handle the issue through a direct or confrontational approach. Entrenchment
includes passive aggression, deliberate temporary withdrawal, giving the silent
treatment, non-cooperation, absenting oneself, ignoring, unspoken verbal abuse,
etc., none of which is communicated in any direct way.
Almost all human beings try to "solve" their emotional
problems, conflicts and issues by squarely placing the blame, responsibility
or cause for their current problem or upset on external
persons or groups or conditions either in the present time or in the past. As
one client once said, "If my father isn't to blame, then I
am to blame; SOMEONE is to blame for my severe manic- depression and
pain!" The only problem with projected blame or self-blame is that placing
the blame does nothing to cure/heal the on-going disorder NOW. All the
one who is suffering can do is hate, punish, reject, condemn, judge, be mean, or
get even, and those tactics usually aggravate the situation even more. Of
course, we may also project other facets of our inner needs onto
other people, our needs for security, companionship, affection, pleasure,
opposite-sex attraction, control/submissiveness, admiration, etc.
RETROGRESSION BACKWARDS: This reaction to unwanted emotions and feelings consists in mentally retreating into oneself usually on the basis of perceiving oneself as a victim full of resentment and even, sometimes, partial self-blame ("What did I do to bring this negative situation on myself?—I am nuts or stupid or unworthy!")
This is a much broader concept than "psychosomatic." Somatization
occurs when anyone who is in a state of emotional conflict or pain seeks to fix
the psychological disorder by involving the physical body ("soma"
in Greek) in some way—including the brain. This physical body method of
dealing with any specific psychological condition may take the form of illnesses,
substance abuse, medications, addictions of all kinds, some obsessive actions,
self-mutilation, accident-proneness, body-neglect, and even some disabilities.
The denied emotional conflicts may be "dropped into the body," so to
speak, where the resulting physical illness or condition may often symbolize
the psychological conflict. The therapeutic answer is to make the "somatizing"
process conscious, reverse it, and then confront the conflict
(See all WebPages beginning with E, F, G and J)
(See all WebPages beginning with E, F, G and J)
Loving Oneness Now -- Copyright © 2007 Alexander Bannatyne, PhD