Loving Oneness Now




[Page J08]

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FORGIVE SOMEONE, INCLUDING YOURSELF, NOW:  If there is anyone currently in your life, or perhaps someone from the past, that you feel you need to forgive, first withdraw any negative judgments and projections from them. Then realize, however dimly, they are a Child of God (right Now) just as you are, and so you can Love one another and laugh together (even retrospectively) at the ego's antics. Next, be aware that forgiveness is all about Loving the persons you forgive, and of coming to the understanding that, in Reality, they are not their ego any more than you are. To help you with these steps to forgiveness see the Ego-Dismantling Method on Page G04. (To learn about projection see Page R12.)

True forgiveness is not synonymous with "pardoning" the one you blame for your uncomfortable state of mind. A pardon is where you still blame the other person for their bad behavior, but have decided to let them "off the punishment hook" as long as they do not repeat it again. Forgiveness is Loving them as a Child of God who is temporarily suffering from a delusional disease called "ego."  You would only pardon them when you do not realize you also suffer from the same delusional disease. True Loving forgiveness does not mean that you have to stay (temporarily or permanently) with the person who is causing you serious problems, but before you leave be reasonably sure that (a) your own inner ego-characteristics are not a significant part of the problem, and (b) that you have explored every viable avenue of reconciliation and understanding. 

However, living with physical or constant vituperative verbal abuse is not an option. Even so, when you exit from any intolerable relationship you should feel sorrowful rather than feeling guilt or anger. Continuing guilt or anger indicate you need to look inwards to find out why. Grudges and grievances are usually strong indicators of inner ego-neuroticism, and often denote you are suffering from victimhood.

VICTIMHOOD:  The key to our unleashing of true forgiveness on everyone, is to let go of victimhood, and relinquish all our internal ego-children who need to place the blame for our dysfunctional state(s) on someone outside us, such as our parents, other family members, our neighbors, our enemies, our colleagues, or dozens of kinds of other people or organizations. Most of us "love to hate" those whom we perceive as the external causes of our miseries and misfortunes without realizing that, like two wrestlers in the ring, we have not only chosen those with whom we tussle, but we have also done so for ulterior motives, most of which we hide from our consciousness. (See: E02

Have you ever noticed how almost every member of the human race needs at least one enemy (i.e., someone to dislike or hate), and in the absence of a current one, we will each proceed to search unflaggingly until we find one. Most often, when one foe is vanquished we look around for the next. This is true historically as well as in the present. This is as true of families, teams, businesses, groups, religions, politicians, governments, and nations as it is of individuals. We humans are addicted to both victimhood and domination in almost every aspect of our lives on this planet, and it is an addiction we cannot let go because, if we did so, we would discover the murderer, the killer, is within our own ego-minds! Not only that, but we might also realize that each time we attack another person, however viciously or mildly, we are attacking (crucifying) the Christ in them because they are, in their Essence, a Creation of God. We do this whether we are victims or perpetrators or, more usually, as both; not infrequently the victims of bullies will take out their frustration on those who are weaker than they are. One example of this is called the "pecking order" which abounds in almost every species on this planet, and most prominently of all in the human species! The Nazis were a prime example of this downward bullying.

THE KILLER IS WITHIN:  Before you object strongly that you are not a murderer or killer, ask yourself if you approve of capital punishment, and if you approve of having armed forces? Should we kill animals, birds and fish for food?  And, for the vegetarians should we kill plants? Are there degrees or categories of killing, some of which we can condone while others we forbid? What about ourselves with respect to living wills, pulling the plug, suicide and euthanasia? How about insects and pests, traps and pesticides? Think about the entire food chain on this planet wherein all life feeds on life and every living thing and every living body must die. What about lightning-caused forest fires, and natural floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and blizzards, most of which kill large numbers of all kinds of living species, including humans? Think on these statements. Is our Earth a planet of Death? If so, why? Is all this Death and Darkness on Planet Earth the result of our self-imposed separation from the Love, Light, Peace and Joy of God? Are we, as un-Loving Beings, responsible for it?

THE ENIGMA:  Most of us, faced with the realization that the killer is inside each of us, will then promptly turn our hate inwards and strive to kill the killer within, without realizing the absurdity of such an inconsistent policy. Many people hate themselves for their "sins." We also struggle to puzzle out what the transition process might be that will get us safely to our destination of Peace, Safety and Loving Oneness, without being vulnerable to the attacks of those egos who are still invested in a false ego-salvation through aggression and killing. 

ANSWERS:  A frequent question of ACIM students is: "But if we Love all our enemies and all criminals, and refuse to have any defenses against them, they will then ride rough-shod over us, abuse us, rob us and possibly even kill us out of maliciousness. Therefore any policy of being Loving and Forgiving  is a road to disaster for all us good, worthy 'law-abiding' citizens."

However the paragraph immediately above contains several basic misconceptions simply because the statement is based on some very limited egoic points of view. Rather than state the actual misconceptions, I will present a list below in terms of the Answers to these misconceptions:

1.   Real Love is Strong, not weak:  The ego always presents any kind of love, especially Real Love, as weak, wimpish and even dangerous, because when we are loving (it says) we become vulnerable, and if we open ourselves to the love of others we will be taken advantage of, or even emotionally and physically hurt. For most of us being loving is tantamount to giving permission to miscreant egos and mischief-makers to attack us using a wide variety of ways from mild put-downs to outright verbal or physical assaults. The ego tells us to keep our defenses strong and to be on guard against any signs of aggression, because our personal and group histories confirm defenselessness always results in injury or death. 

This ego-attitude is actually a lie, because only egos attack egos, and all the ego's defenses are equally composed of aggression. Those inside the castle walls also shoot arrows, pour down boiling oil and catapult missiles outwards, and the egos who do this are the murderer(s) within! I could go on about these unloving ego scenarios but this has been done on other pages, especially E03. Real Love is far stronger than any puffed-up ego. Did Jesus, the Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, or thousands of others who have changed the world lovingly, carry a gun or other weapon? Yet not one of these people was a doormat; on the contrary, they all 'faced down" very powerful people.  Many critics and skeptics will say, "Well, some of them were killed" without comparing this with how many would have been killed if they had gone to war! Sure, Gandhi was assassinated in later life, but if he had raised an revolutionary Indian army and fought it out with bullets and bombs, thousands upon thousands would have been killed. 

In Fact, Love is the strongest Power in the universe of universes, and it is the ego that is not only weak, but is also a fictional mind construction which depends solely on fear and security measures for its existence. Love is the Power of God -- and Miracles. Miracles have the Power to override all death, diseases, disasters and difficulties, once we decide to Love everyone and everything and do no harm. (See: Q2L)

2.   Nothing happens by chance or accident:  The ego will always have you believe life is a gamble in which chance often decides whether you are a winner or loser. The phrases, "You got lucky," or "That was bad luck," are often heard. This is another lie on the part of the ego, a lie designed to keep us under its control through fear, worry, anxiety and stress. Thus the ego wants us to believe that accidents and many illnesses or disorders occur from causes beyond our control, especially "unlucky" coincidences, such as being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet time and again, the Masters confirm that, "You cannot but be in the right place at the right time." They also say that everything that happens in the universe of universes is a synchronicity."

Here is what Jesus says in A Course In Miracles

[Each of us should tell ourselves regularly]  "I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked."

[Jesus then continues]  Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear. It is impossible the Son of God [i.e., each one of us humans] be merely driven by events outside of him. It is impossible that happenings that come to him were not his choice. His power of decision is the determiner of every situation in which he seems to find himself by chance or accident. No accident nor chance is possible within the universe as God created it, outside of which is nothing. Suffer, and you decided sin was your goal. Be happy, and you gave the power of decision to Him Who must decide for God for you. This is the little gift you offer to the Holy Spirit, and even this He gives to you to give yourself. For by this gift is given you the power to release your [inner] savior, that he may give salvation unto you.  (T-#417/448-21.II.2:3-7) & (T-#418/448-21.II.3:all)

3.  In the meantime, ego will take care of ego:  The idea that 'if we Love everyone and do no harm' will cause us to physically free from our prisons all those who do harm and therefore there will be total anarchy in the world, is the result of totally erroneous and simplistic thinking. Spiritual Love is is all about healing ourselves and all those with whom we come into contact. The world is not going to Awaken overnight -- at least not until many more of us are Awake than is the case at present. Each of us Awakens individually, and sometimes we may do so two by two. It is the egos of the human race that will gradually disappear both in quantity (actual numbers) and in degree (each will shrink -- pun intended). The Parental Authority System (PAS) is a major control factor within the ego, and so, as the rambunctious egos diminish in number so will the number of PAS controlling forces also decrease. Thus, the last criminal and the last policeman will Wake up together hand in hand. 

Norway: Therefore, what we need now is healing, not punishment. We need caring, not admonishment. We need psycho-spiritual therapy, not permanent medical drugging. We need open-minded wisdom, not an authoritarian indoctrination of dogma. Is this all pie-in-the-sky wishful thinking? Well, take a trip to Norway, and you will discover a nation that is already Loving and Caring for their few criminals, their sick and disabled, their children and their elderly and infirm. And of this date the Norwegians also have the highest standard of living in the world. (See: Q3)

Ho'oponopono: Those skeptical readers who still think it very difficult to heal and rehabilitate our criminals -- including the criminally insane -- should also read the Ho'oponopono Page on this Website (see: J05). You will read of how Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len healed a whole ward of criminally insane inmates with Pure Love and Forgiveness without ever seeing a single one of them. Now there is a Miracle which demonstrates the Power of Real Love; compare that with the ego's Parental Authority Systems use of ineffective aggressive punishments and fear-inducing deterrents. We need many more therapists like Dr. Len, in fact, at least one in each prison in the world.

4.  How do we rid ourselves of the "criminal" murderer within each of us? [What follows is a synopsis of G04]

First we have to admit freely to ourselves that the murderer (the hater) IS within us, and that we are projecting our own negative shadow side onto the one we want to "murder."  Almost always, when we condemn someone for their negative behaviors, we do so because, deep down, we are condemning (through repression and dissociation) the same shadow impulses or negative acts within our own minds. This can be seen in the statements: "We love to hate the haters."  "We love to get even."  "Let us execute the murderers."

Second, we withdraw those condemning projections from those outside us, and accept them as part and parcel of our own shadow ego-mind even though we may not act them out in everyday life. For example, we may never actually verbally abuse someone out loud even though our own inner anger against them is painfully obvious to us when they abuse us. Or we may repress our anger and get a headache. Yet again, we may (via our own inner Parental Authority System -- the PAS) abuse ourselves through guilty self-recrimination for our own inner angry reaction. Most of us confuse our external behaviors with the inner thoughts and emotions which generate them, under the false assumption that changing our behaviors (our re-actions toward others) will change and eradicate the offending inner thoughts and emotions as well. Most Authorities "out there" such as schools, churches, common law, and parents operate under the same false assumption, namely, that if you don't do it, you are guiltless, and they apply this mistaken thinking to all "sins" and "crimes." Of course, I am NOT suggesting that anyone be punished for their thoughts, even though the PAS sometimes does that too, especially when those thoughts are voiced! 

Third, having withdrawn all projections from others as best we can, own the negative shadow thoughts (of anger. guilt, fear, etc.,) and, in private, feel them intensely to show you are not afraid of them. Note that our fear of our own anger and/or guilt is a big hang-up for many of us. In private let the feelings/emotions flow freely for a few minutes.

Fourth, once the feelings/emotions begin to wane a little, sincerely ASK a Higher Power such as God the Father, the Holy Spirit, your Higher Self, or a Master, to take them from you so you can feel Peaceful.

Fifth, forgive everyone, including yourself, for their egos, and strive to understand that all egos are false facades which hide the Christs/Buddhas deep within them. God the Creator, originally created all Human Beings as His Sons and Daughters, and what God has Created has not been changed and can never be changed, even though those Divine Beings that we Truly are, can be buried under deep piles of meaningless ego-nonsense. But the ego is only a persistent habit that will gradually disappear when it is disregarded and given to a Higher Power to demolish. All we have to do, is to be willing to relinquish it.

Sixth, then as best you can, strive to feel Love for everyone and everything. Egos are a psychological illness that we can dissolve back into the nothingness from which they came. 


Loving Oneness Now -- Copyright 2007 Alexander Bannatyne, PhD

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